If you haven't heard or seen the pictures on my facebook account, I am a new Aunt. My brother Brian is the father to a precious baby girl named Madison. She is such a dear baby girl. When I arrived in Greenville last week I promptly announced that was taking over the night shift. Good times. I was lucky because she sleeps pretty well. Goes to bed around 8, wakes up at around 2:30, stays up for an hour, and wakes up again around 5. A few nights she slept from 8pm to 4 am. I am so excited to continue spoiling her for years to come. Singing to Madison at 4:00 am was the highlight of my trip.
While taking care of Madison, I started thinking about my future and how I feel about one day having kids. When I was young, I was sure I would be married and have kids by age 30. I also envisioned myself as being very domestic. At age 31, I'm not so sure that lifestyle is for me. I've told this to people and they say, "Oh, you just have to meet the right person". I think this response is condescending. I'm not saying this in a whining (when will I find the right guy) tone. I am just stating how I see my life unfolding. The only people that haven't given me this response are my parents. My mom said she could see not following that marriage/ kids model. Not to say she isn't all for in vitro. That being said, I don't think I could do the single mom thing either. I felt bad leaving a dog at home while I worked. It would break my heart to leave my child while I worked. Family life has it's rewards. It's the model for human existence, but the single life has it's rewards too. Right now, I am going to focus on doing some of the great things you can do when you are footloose and fancy free. I am going to start exploring some ideas for travel and possibly furthering my education.
3 comments:
You look so amazingly beautiful that picture!
Also, there are a lot of different lives out there that you (not you, you, but the rhetorical you) could lead , aren't there? Just keep living yours how you are! When I hear what you are doing, I think, how awesome. At Book Club last week, we were discussing one of the characters in the book who was a totally independent, sexy woman, and I said that is definitely who I am in my "other" life. Everyone but Maria thought I was weird, but there are a whole lot of possible people that we could be, and I want to try them all. I always pictured my life the opposite as you did: single for a long time, big time career, and look at what I got. Life is interesting.
You are so right Katie! I'm really liking the way things are turning out and am more happy now then I have been in a long time.
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